If you can, WAIT to confront. This is the time for you to gather hard evidence - cell records, computer keyloggers, if you can afford it, hire a PI. You can also buy a voice activated recorder and put it under the seat of her car. You'll have to remove it and change batteries every day. You'll get good phone convo's as she talks to OM from her car. Be ready though, all if this info is very painful. You need to decide if you're ready to know the truth right now. If the answer is no, you wait until you're ready.
I waited three months to confront -- waited for all my hard evidence, and until I had a PLAN.
Watch contact w/OM's W - and under no circumstances do you contact OM. He is a very low person and beneath your consideration.
Also, more focus than ever on you and your children. She's in full blown A fog, and is beyond your reach or control.
Others will chime in soon - have you read Puppy's posts?
