H suddenly moved out 10 days ago...I'm devastated

[flowmom]

With your illness, can you try to put all your energy into getting better? You're health is compromised, that needs to be addressed first.

I'm trying. It's hard because my children are horrible sleepers and my 3 yo is waking up a lot and coming into my bed and getting up early and screaming (more than usual). My 6 yo is also getting up early too. I'm seeing the Dr. again this afternoon. The antibiotics don't seem to have dealt with the problem. But I think that pneumonia basically takes a long time to recover from and insomnia and wakeful children and insomnia don't help.

We have all been there and we all feel your pain.

We can all be here to help you with each crazy stage and there will be many.

You don't know how much the support from forum members means to me. I don't know anyone in real life who understands where I'm coming from right now. My friends and family want me to be mad at H and accept The End ASAP.

Whatever you do, don't confront him with what you suspect!

OK. I will not. It makes sense. I don't really have a way of checking up on him. We've generally been pretty independent in our relationship. H had an affair 12 years ago before we were married (in response to a very rough patch in our R when I was depressed), but it was very brief and we patched things over and I went back to trusting him.

However, if your H is having an affair, it should not be brought around your children. I’m not sure how to handle that one, sense you’ve already told him that you didn’t want anyone else around the kids.

I feel a bit ill about it, but I guess that's yet another area that I can't control. I could see him subconsciously using the kids to look good to other women because the kids really bring out his fun and playful side -- women gush to me about what a great dad he is and I think he "shows off" a bit.

I am not sure why exactly and pardon me if I am off base but I get the feeling you and I live in the same state as you spoke of owning an apartment.

I live in Canada

sandi, that is a great summary. I think I've been doing everything on that list (maybe with the exception of one discussion) for the 15 days since H moved out. But I know I have a long haul ahead of me.