Yeah, you should have played it cooler. But, what's done is done. One, because it doesn't help your situation any, and two, because YOU do not want to make yourself look angry and bitter in front of all of those people.
Is the stuff they do "mean"? Yep. Sure is. Do I think they do it to be mean? Don't think so. They do it because they are all about what makes themselves "happy" and they can't think beyond that.
If I were you, if anyone wants anything from you, ex, kids, friends, etc. I would have them come get it from your place. That way you do not put yourself into those hurtful situations.
And no, you didn't "waste" 19 years. It was a part of your life that you experienced and grew from. And you got some great kids out of that part of your life. Just like you are growing and learning now.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
But, what's done is done. One, because it doesn't help your situation any, and two, because YOU do not want to make yourself look angry and bitter in front of all of those people. 
