I found this on snodderly's thread on why they run away...
Originally Posted By: M Go Blue
MLC individuals have many things in common.
They have low self esteem. They are very unhappy inside. They are very angry inside. They have a low self image. They have suppressed their inner feelings for many years. The seeds for MLC were planted in childhood. They feel as if they have been controlled their whole life. They feel their feeling were never validated. They have feelings of being inadequate or not good enough. They feel that during childhood they did not recieve nurturing or a special love from their parents. They have feelings of rejection and abandonment that haunt them from childhood.
These all describe my H with possible the exception of nurturing from his parents. My H's parents passed away before I met him so I have no firsthand knowledge of his relationship with them. All I know it that my H has always spoken very affectionately about his father and hardly ever mentioned his mother. And one of the first "symptoms" of MLC I noticed in my H was his complaint that I was trying to "mother" him by suggesting to him that he take multi-vitamins! He now complains that he has let women control him all his life. I definitely think my H had some issue with his mother but I really have no idea what it was. My H claims he had a normal childhood however my H was born prematurely and was put in an incubator with oxygen which somehow caused his eyes to cross. He later had surgery to correct this but he was left with a lazy eye. My H was somewhat a loner who read a lot. My H has told me about one of few childhood friends that was killed in an accident. My H was gangly and not athletic at all...even played the tuba in the school band. I can imagine that he got picked on but he has never mentioned that to me. In high school, it sounds like he had more friends but got into drinking and some drugs. After my H left for college, my H's parents split. I think my H's father could have been depressed causing his mother to get involved with someone else. His mother married the OM. Years later when his mother's new H died, my H's parents got back together. My H's father died about 16 ago, about 5 years before I met him and his mother a year later. I believe my H went into a depression when his dad died. My H's first wife then got involved with someone else. They split and she moved away. My H dated some after they split but didn't file for a D from his first wife until he met me (hmmm...had I known then what I know now!). When he met me, he would have moved heaven and earth to be with me...well, at least for about 6 years.
I'm sure something in my H's past ties into his MLC...I'm just not sure specifically what...maybe it all does.
Some of the other issues my H suffers from are... -mortality -hypochondria -germaphobia (not sure what the real term is for that) -inability to express emotion about his personal experiences (he can cry at movies or even shed tears for his clients that have had tragic things happen to them) -Cannot handle me raising my voice (even just to be passionate about the situation) yet he can have a yelling match with opposing attorneys)
I would appreciate any thoughts anyone has. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter because I need to just move forward. I would just like to know why he is so damaged but I may never know.
