It's been my second time here. Last time "I moved out" and back to separated when I realised H was holding back and wasnt 100% there with me. This time he is. This time I am the one struggling cause I dont know how to handle his A, the past and how to forgive and let go.
I saw a MC today. We will see her Thursday. There are not many experience MCs here, the reason I liked her was that she was positive and said "you seem to have good basis for a happy M, good for you not to quit when you found out he was cheating, cheating can be the end of a M, it can also mean a chance/opportunity to start over and put things in the right order with the goal to build a better relationship".
She said she is not experienced but that she will do everything possible in her powers to help us "piece".H agreed immediately to try her.
I am feeling exhausted and discouraged. I wish I was a goldfish and could forget the past. I dont know why it hit me so hard the last couple of weeks. Maybe because I feel vulnerable again. Maybe because I realise, our M will always have a huge scar... The "love of my life" is just another weak man.
Anyway, dont want to sound bad, it's my piecing thread and I need to be positive. I promise I will work on that. K
