This should get you started. There are many, many good threads in the MLC Archives (hundreds of them). Take the time to read them, do the homework and then you will have a better understanding of what is going on and maybe even why. The bottom line is this..you can't fix him, you didn't break him. You can only fix yourself.
Well for me, that's exactly how H was for at least five months. He was always "too busy". He complained about "never having a moment to himself" even though he moved out. It made no sense whatsoever to me. i think he was avoiding his feelings by constantly being busy. It's a way to shut down. This has passed with us too. H is taking even five or ten minutes here or there to stop and talk and listen with me instead of claiming to be too busy to think or talk.
Some will talk to old friends just to see what they know about the situation and also it is a good way to find out what you are up to w/o being around you. MLC behavior is not set in stone and they all can have similiar traits and yet be so different.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
after reading what u linked to me i am in shambles...for the fact that i thought i had this pieced together. truth is...seems like this started long b4 i believed it did...
divorce was brought up several years ago,the anger,depression withdraw and money spending has been going on all along...especially the last 2 years...
when h moved out...it was to fix himself...get it together. still seems to be true...everything to him is going back to simple...tons of concerns over money...trying to do right...has even mentioned bankruptcy and starting over...
please help me here...although i understand much much more about this mlc...i need some more help to put it in some sort of perspective...
thanks lost
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
There is usually a trigger. A life change that sets things in motion. It could be a number of things, birth, death, children leaving the home, job loss or promotion. It also tends to happen around transition points in life, in his case getting ready to hit his forties.
By the time we start to notice, a fair amount of time has already gone by. I'm guessing 12 to 18 months.
