feel like giving up - talk to me!

[luvless]

so goes the rollercoaster ride......

Last night H started to be a little bit of a jerk so I went into the room to avoid him - he soon followed. He was being sarcastic at first and I wasn't having any of it this time.

We ended up sitting on the bed and he started talking about R. He said he knows he's been a jerk and he's sorry..first time ever admitting that. He continues to talk about his unhappiness and still telling me he feels awful about his mom being gone. I have kept saying "I understand" at our other conversations but this time I said, "you know what you're right I don't understand." That seemed to stop him for a minute.

He started crying (remember he never cries) he says he wants to work on our marriage - BUT - he is going back and forth (I'm so confused guys!) to his not being happy - he loves me but he feels lost!

At one point he took his wedding ring off and put it in my hand and I lost it! He hugged me and we talked some more. He keeps harping on his mom and I don't know how that has to do with us but I listen.

I kept saying, "I am here for you - let me help you get through this." The loss of his mom has clearly sent him over the deep end. I asked him if there was anyone else - of course he said no...but I dunno.

I said, "deep down in your heart - take away the resentment and our issues right now...do you love me?" he said yes.

I felt like he wants to tell me he wants out but is so afraid to make the move. He is obviously in a MLC and dealing with a ton of pain from the loss of his mom. I don't know how it correlates with our marriage but I can see the stress it's added.

I don't know what to think anymore. I am literally NUMB and CONFUSED...more than ever.

I'm curious as to how today is going to be - I want off the ride!