What can I do to save my marriage? Help

[DDogs]

Wonderful,

Where have you been? You just dropped off for a while. Thanks for checking on me.

I just have to know for sure. I have ordered a chemical detection system to do it correctly..PSA and all that. I should know tomorrow.

If she is having an affair and the marriage is going to work out, she has to stop it, and that will require tough love on my part.

I'm not afraid of divorce. Honestly, I probably will do better with it then she will. I just won't tolerate her manipulating me and blaming me for this. I want to end it on my terms and make her feel guilty for what has happened. I suppose that is a start. I can't continue to have her take advantage of me.

I suppose once I do find out, I will need a consensus from the board on how to handle it without cutting my own throat.

Tridoc, If I may ask, the detection system that you have, could you elaborate where, how quick to get it, reliability, cost? You have me thinking,, I have access to Uv/blacklight units from work, but there can be some confusion in the result, soaps etc.. but its a good start...

As far as the W feeling guilty, I feel that I know where you are coming from and completely share you sentiment there. Might have been both contributing to the sitch, but the W exacerbated it with the A and my feeling is that she needs to take responsibility and own it in its entirety,,,

From what I have read in these forums, unfortunately its usually 1-2 years after the D is done that the WAS/MLC spouse senses that they made a mistake... that's no help, you've already D'd and hopefully moved on, kinda like a left handed compliment, "you look skinny for a fat person!".

I'm mentally preparing myself if my sitch goes due south for my "living well, is the best revenge", way to move on..