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#1918657 01/18/10 03:36 PM
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Well my last thread was locked and I just wanted to update it a little.

Just read a thread over in Newcomers which sounded just like me when I came over here.

For all my emotional gripes, moans and rollercoaster rides I only talk about it in here. To everybody else, other than the odd 'not being in a great mood', which we all do, I appear to be upbeat and happy.

So while you all may think I'm an emotional wreck ... that's only in here smile

Anyway, eventually got a hold of solicitor. He spoke to W's solicitor on Friday and they will chase up with W about separation agreement. Started looking at renting property in the nearest big city which is 100 miles from here. That get's me out of here. Out of W's way and let her continue her A without interference from me. It also let's me get on with my life without having it constantly hanging over my head.

However, I have until Feb 2nd to decide what I'm doing. I was all set for selling this place but I've got a bit of nostalgia for it now too smile Solicitor said that if W doesn't sign separation agreement then the only way to force the issue of her being entitled to half the house is to force a D and take it to court ... decisions, decisions, decisions ...


Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y
Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010

"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient."
"Delay is the antidote for anger"
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Heh P.... You should read my posts from Nov... Just to see what frame of mind I was in...

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1855680&page=9


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
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Originally Posted By: cutterbug
Heh P.... You should read my posts from Nov... Just to see what frame of mind I was in...

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1855680&page=9


Thanks cutter. Started reading at page 9 (as that's where your link pointed) but I'm going to go all the way back. Coffee is on smile

You sound very much like me. Hopefully when I'm at 4 months of NC I will be like you are now.


Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y
Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010

"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient."
"Delay is the antidote for anger"
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 925
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Teeny update. Just journalling.

Had coffee with the IM today - first time I've seen her in over a month.

She said she saw W at her shop a while ago and W 'drew her daggers' (an expression here that I hope carries over - basically gave her the angry face). Not sure why, IM has done nothing and W doesn't even know her. Shows W is still angry though which is more than I am ... low, upset, wavering and on a rollercoaster of emotions but anger isn't one of them.

Oh well. Anger is good. Anger I can deal with. Don't understand where it's coming from then it is what it is.


Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y
Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010

"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient."
"Delay is the antidote for anger"
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So P... Did you enjoy the story... smile Woooooo
Sorry P at work so you are going to have to find the video.. smile

I Wanna Drive The Zamboni

Well I went down to my local arena.
I asked to see the manager man.
He came from his office and said, "Son can I help you?"
I looked at him and said, "Yes you can."

'Cause I wanna drive the zamboni.
I wanna drive the zamboni.
(Yes I do.)

Since I was young it's been my dream
to drive that there zamboni machine.
I'd get that ice just as slick as could be,
and all the kids would look up to me.

'Cause I wanna drive the zamboni.
I wanna drive the zamboni.
(Yes I do.)

The manager said, "Son, I know it looks keen,
but that right there is one expensive machine.
And we've got Smokey who's been driving for years."
About that time, I broke down in tears.

'Cause I wanna drive the zamboni.
I wanna drive the zamboni.
'Cause I wanna drive the zamboni.
I wanna drive the zamboni.
(Yes I do.)


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
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To save anybody else looking for it ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3z9HgXLaeeM


Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y
Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010

"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient."
"Delay is the antidote for anger"
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 925
P
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Originally Posted By: cutterbug
So P... Did you enjoy the story... smile


I did Cutter. It actually remembered I had read it all right through before. It was good to get a refresher again.

Our sitchs are very similar. Plan B because we just couldn't deal with the sh*t anymore. Lots of contact from WAS at first until they eventually got the message that this isn't a childish prank we're pulling. And then ... nothing.

But we are both better people for it. Going down the paths we need to travel to keep our progress growing. We'll get there.


Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y
Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010

"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient."
"Delay is the antidote for anger"
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,757
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Jughead - Hockey Song

And a little punk version of our canadian anthem EH!

Hanson Brothers - Hockey Song

Now back to your regular program of DOOM AND GLOOM

smile


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
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Just some advice.

I am off down to my dad's tomorrow at short notice. I was going to text MIL and see if I can pick up D's present while I'm down there to save her some postage. She may have changed her mind and not be sending one or she may have already sent it so this question may therefore be mute.

If I go to see MIL and FIL, I want to be able to say the right things about the M, should it come up. I won't be bringing it up, but just in case they do. I will try and steer the conversation away from it, but again just some tips what to say - and some nice phrases to say it with. Particularly about NC (and it not being petty), Xmas gift, Xmas things W wanted - that kind of stuff. I also want them to know I'm GALing, hold no ill feeling to W and that while her affair / adultery (do I say adultery?!) is ongoing, I want no further contact to protect me and D.

In the past when I've spoken to W's friend I always get carried away and say far too much. This time, even if it doesn't happen, I want to be prepared.

Any advice, particularly key phrases to say, is appreciated.

P.S. Cutter, your tag line is spelt wrongly ... it's opposite not oppositie smile

Last edited by P17; 01/21/10 01:14 AM.

Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y
Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010

"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient."
"Delay is the antidote for anger"
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,757
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Hey P we all make mistakes.... wink

Advice.

Show them the love of a loving son. And if you called them Mom and Dad. Say Hi Mom, Hi Dad. And take it from there.

If they ask how your feeling. Tell the truth. Getting over the pain. Working hard. GAL and 180 them. Remember they do talk to their daughter.

Do not say you are waiting for her. Do not say you have moved on.

Just state your living your life and healing. Taking care of D.

If it comes up. If not its a pink elephant who is nude and hanging out like a monty python penguin on the tv....

Enjoy your friendship.

Do not mention NC. Do not Mention w gifts or anything....

They bring up wife... nod, pause and say you would rather not talk about it...


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
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