Awoken, I'm so glad you had a great weekend with your kids. I know what you mean about those glimpses into their world- I get that once in a great while with my D9 and it fills my heart with joy!
About the dread- this is what I do....I imagine a giant stop sign like I have read about on these posts. I know it sounds crazy but it helps. Also, I just keep remembering WHAT IF this is my last day on earth, am I going to waste it worrying about their mood OR make MY mood the best it can be. Also I have decided that I can mope/cry later when my kids aren't home. They need me to be the very best mom I can be---I learned that from you! My dad always told me that I AM in charge of my outlook- no one else-not my co-worker or spouse or friend--I AM in charge of me.
You only have to get thru one day at a time. I hope today is great for you.
JG
M-44 H-44 D9 S1 M-17 T-20 Bomb-8/09 EA/PA/MLC H moved out 2/4/10
It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.-Roy Disney