robx, yes , of course you make perfect sense. sorry to ask the same questions ....I'm not a stupid guy, just stupid here. I don't really know why i am so afraid, but obviously i am. I do read and will get Tough Love and No More MR Nice Guy. Please know that i am drained from what's happening here. It's taking quite a toll. I am OPEN to suggestions on how to get strength or "balls" . Feel like going back to bed and crying into the pillow. I talk to my DB coach this week, hopefully we'll all get this going for me.THANKS for keeping me in you thoughts. rob668
I was going to say you aren't stupid but you are definitely afraid and seriously at this point, you have to view it like this: you can't be afraid that you've lost her because you need to be honest with yourself, you have ALREADY lost her, now you need to start acknowledging that if you want to work from a position where you might be able to turn this around but that first involves acknowledging who are you right now, acknowledging all those scared pieces of you and just saying
"F!@#$%* IT! I'M NOT GOING TO LIVE SCARED ANYMORE!"
Does it feel good to live scared everyday? You said it yourself, you're drained, its taking a toll on your body, look at all this stress, it literally makes you go crazy.
So how do you stop that?
Well, you say to yourself that you aren't going to live scared anymore, you're going to let go of the people that don't value you or the relationship they have with you because it's just not worth the pain that you're going through. You view it as her loss, not yours. You start enjoying your life because life is a precious thing to waste and you've allowed her along with yourself to waste your life and you're not going to allow that to happen anymore. You're going to start doing things that are fun even if it's uncomfortable at first because seriously you're not used to doing things for yourself, to make yourself happy and you have to get used to doing that if you want to reclaim those balls of yours: YOU'RE WORTH IT!
This crying business, if you need to do it, find a place, somewhere that she isn't around because you don't ever want her to hear or see you in that condition as it will just re-inforce the idea in her head that this was the right move on her part, and just cry as hard as you can, let it all out, if it takes you 5min. to an hour, I don't care, just let it all out because when you're done, YOU'RE DONE, NO MORE CRYING AFTER THAT, then take a shower, get dressed, go out somewhere, go to the gym and go do something. The gym is a basic requirement at this point, you need to start working out, sweating, resistance training, pushing & pulling heavy weights, get your body producing more testosterone in response to the weight training, aside from it's muscle building properties, it's going to make you feel more masculine, aggressive, assertive, and better about yourself: it will take a while but it will work and that will be your routine. This sadness you're dealing with, start tanning, every other day for 10-12min., get used to getting this exposure, pump up the vitamin D levels in your body, which will do wonders for the sad mood you're in, start eating clean, take some multi-vitamins, start clothes shopping & shoe shopping and spend some time looking around to see what you like, get a hair cut - seriously all the stuff I'm listing here will eat up your free time, you won't have enough time to do all of this and I guarantee you that you will feel better soon - there's no way you couldn't.
