What can I do to save my marriage? Help

[Deep]

Hi Tridoc, very sorry to hear about what just happened. I was actually typing a response hours ago but had to leave as a business call came in. Ok, call me negative or whatever, and I could be wrong, but ...

There's no such thing as unconditional love in human society. Even God, who is infinitely more capable than any one of us of this, got spat in his face for the trouble. Even if love can be near "unconditional", relationships are never so. There are always boundaries. In marriages, one must be trusting, but wilful denial of reality is not going to get you anywhere. With respect, I have to ask - why were you setting yourself up for disappointment and pain?

Whether you catch her "red-handed" with what's on her underwear, you've already caught her red-handed lying to you about details of her trip. Honestly, I see no basis for trust at all just based on this. Also, her whole attitude of being upbeat seems incongruent with knowing your unhappiness at some of her actions. Unless of course, what you fear happened, happened.

You already knew what "type of person" she was. You chose to invest trust and further emotions (perhaps somewhat prematurely). It's still your call whether to bust her, make her live with the consequences, yet still keep the door open for R if there's remorse in future.