Well it wouldn't be me without a good Ole' Fashioned Dramafest! We (me, kids & H) spent New Years Eve together. Just hanging out at his mom's. She was out of town and her dogs are psycho so they need supervision when there are fireworks (or idiots firing guns at midnight...seriously, the bullets come back down folks. Use your head.) He had offered to watch D13mos for the Troll that night but she refused and had him watch her that morning. So around 9:30 she calls him to chat and he tells her hes with the kids and needs to go. So she sends a text that says "Sorry for bugging you" and then nothing else. SO the next afternoon I go to get us all something to drink and I get a phone call from him asking where we are and to be careful on our way back. Sweet, but weird. Remember, Troll is at his mom's rental house and its only a few blocks away from MILs house. So as we (me & DD8) are pulling into MILs driveway, my phone rings and its Troll. I answer and she sits there for a minute & hangs up. So I call her back and leave a vm that simply says, "You called me, if you have something to say...say it." So then I get a text from her: I just want to wish you and H a very hapy new year and hopefully you guys can make things work this year. RRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!! So I tell H that this is going on and he tells me she called him in tears saying, "Apparently you only wish your loved-ones Happy New Year" and other dramatic crap. So he wasn't answering his phone anymore because she was on a roll, blowing up his phone and being a nut-case.
The kids and I pull out of the driveway and the phone rings again, its her...so I answer.
She basically recites the text message to me and I reply, "Um, Thank you?!" So then she launches into wanting to know why H doesn't just pack his stuff up and come home now, why is he still at his mom's, and other stuff on this line. I just keep replying that its not her business and that she needn't worry about things that don't concern her. I told her that she should probably spend her time worrying about things that were her concern like being a co-parent with H and being a mother to her children.
Then she tells me that she is going to at my house when she comes to pick up D13mos and I said, "OK, whats your poing?" "I'm not afraid." Then it was about how I'm not going to be mean to her and I agreed and said that I had not intention of being mean to her.
Then she started in on how I have huge problems (WTF?!?! DId you seriously just say I have huge problems? Ummmm Pot, Kettle is on line 2 for you!) How could I possibly take H back and that everytime I looked at their D that I would be reminded of how H cheated on me.
By this time I am growing weary of this conversation and you can't reason with an unreasonable person so I asked her what it was she wanted and if causing drama was what she was going to do for the rest of our lives. Her reply was yes. So I let her have it...I told her that just so we were all CLEAR on things that I had given H the opportunity to go and live his life and be with her and HE had chosen not to do so. I reminded her that his plans did not include her, no matter what happened between he and I. I also told her that everyone including H knew that she was desperate enough to have a baby just to keep him and that it was sad and pathetic for her to keep trying to hang on after it was done and to MOVE ON!!
So then she asks me, "When was the last time H told you we were together?" I was done, so I told her, "Look Troll if you are still f*cking him then you really ARE dumber than I ever gave you credit for being, you stupid f*ing whore!" & I hung up the phone. Not my finest 8 minutes of parenting but it felt good nevertheless. Needless to say, she has left me alone and I'm so truly grateful for that.
She continued to harrass him all that day and for the next 2 days. Finally she told him that she wanted to make him miserable like she is and again, that if she had known that things would be this way, she would have never had the baby. WOW! I can't even begin to tell you how incredibly sad I think that is. What a waste. After the last 2 or 3 blow-outs they have had, I think they are truly & finally done for good. I know H has been but I think he has finally convinced her of it.
Things between us are pretty good, I mean we have our good days and our bad days, but we are getting better about communicating and not letting the bad days become personal and counter-productive. There is still a long road ahead, but I can't look past today and whatever it brings. For once I am learning to just enjoy what is now and "be still."
Love to you all, couldn't have gotten here without any of you.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
