I wouldn't divulge your sources of information, if you get the confirmation you need, great. She'll probably get defensive and want to know why you suspect and how you know.. The less she knows about your sources of info, the less wiggle room she'll have.
Sorry to read about you sitch...
DD
H50 W44 M17 yrs S15 D11 D10 Bomb 4/09 Trial separation/moved out 9/09 Moved back in 12/29/09