I think you are right. I thought about what you said and I agree. That is how I have been feeling lately is resentful towards her.
D12, D8, and I met W for dinner. W and I ended up splitting a few appetizers together that we thoroughly enjoyed including oysters. During the evening she informed us that her mom and stepdad will be selling the house they are in and moving back into the house that W is renting this summer. So W said she will definitely have to move. This didn't go over well with the girls. D12 blurted out she isn't moving and W said Hey. At that moment before W continued I got her attention and whispered to her go easy on them. This isn't the best news for them to hear right now. So she calmed her demeanor and proceeded to explain that she doesn't have a choice and that they will make new friends. W said she is planning on moving to Plano which is where I am planning on moving to and that she and I will move very close to each other. I didn't comment. She explained the benefit of not being in a school district that requires uniforms anymore. The kids liked that as did I. What a pain that has been.
W started getting texts and texting back towards the beginning of the meal and then decided to explain to me that she was supposed to go to a symphany or something with a friend she forgot about. She kept texting and then said there will be other shows for them. I said back "good for them" and then proceeded to talk to D8. I think W got the message. She put away her phone after that.
At one point she proceeded to start what I thought was cussing at D8. I quickly said please don't cuss at her. She said she had said another word that I misheard and I said ok. W has had a very bad history of cussing our kids out regularly. I had addressed it in the past and was met with total resentment for it. But tonight I didn't seem to get met with that even though I misheard her.
I mentioned that I am thinking of getting a newer car as mine is a 1998 and does have a dent in it in the bumper and is just kind of older looking. W agreed and said hey, it isn't like we don't drive them into the dirt anyways. I said ya. I could put the money into fixing it, but it may just be time to get something newer and nicer that doesn't require maintenance so much. She was onboard with that.
The evening went pretty well. At one point she stunned me by informing me that she is going back to church and is also joining the church quoir. This was big to me. I had been praying that God would lead her back to him as she has been so resistant to having anything to do with church for so long now. It was like a prayer answered. He is leading her back in His own way. I thought that was wonderful news. I didn't reveal any of my thinking to her other than I told her I think it is great that she is joining choir. She seems really excited about it. She says she is branching herself out and trying something new. Then W informed me that D12 and D8 would also be doing quoir on Wednesday nights. I said oh? This had not been discussed with me. I'm not sure I was overly thrilled about it either as D12 already does choir on Monday nights downtown. W proceeded to tell me that they are not required to be there when I have them. Good. I'm not sure I am always going to want to take them. But I will consider it if the girls want to go.
D12 started talking about the shirt that I wore tonight and I had considered wearing a black vest with it. D12 told W that she said not to because I would look like a waiter only missing a tie. I agreed and did not wear the vest. Then D12 told W that she helped me pick out the shirt. W knew this was not the case as D12 was not with me when I bought it today. Then D12 said she helped me pick it out to wear tonight. This was not true either but I didn't comment. So as we are leaving W tells me she really likes the shirt. I said thanks and I had decided sometime back that it was time to dress better. W said yes and that people percieve me based on how I dress. I agreed.
W asked me to come by her house so I could get some clothes for Mass for the girls tomorrow since they have a tendecy to leave their clothes at one place or the other at times. So I dropped D12 off at her school dance and then me and D8 went to W's house and got some stuff to bring back over. W and I joked and laughed about a few things as D8 and I were leaving. We said goodnight and D8 and I drove off into the night. W had said she was tired and was just going to get a shower and lay in bed and just acknowledge people talking to her on IM but not really chat. Information not needed for me. But ok. She is definitely hooked on IM and texting to a huge extent. It rules her life most of the time and has since this whole thing began.
Well, the birthdays and holidays are all out of the way now. She is interviewing for many jobs and I am also job hunting. I guess we will see where things go next. I am not sure I will hear from her much now.
I was able to pretty well keep from feeling resentful tonight and I was glad about that.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I think you did pretty good for the most part, but still got a little too personal. Its tough considering the situation with having to spend so much time together. Now that the birthday is over can you back off the together time and get back to normal now? I really hope so!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Ugg, I don't remember the last time I saw a Cowboys playoff game as bad as that. They shouldn't have even bothered showing up. Oh wait, they didn't show up.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Ugg, I don't remember the last time I saw a Cowboys playoff game as bad as that. They shouldn't have even bothered showing up. Oh wait, they didn't show up.
Kevin
Yeah that was sad!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
