Am i a bad person? I had D all weekend long. For the first day it was good. But then i couldn't wait to give her back. I feel terrible. I love my daughter, but I am starting to think I cannot do this. Everything about her reminds me of xw.
Everyday I think I am doing ok, and then bam out of nowhere is start feeling hopeless. LIke she is phasing me out.
Perhaps it is best if I disappear for a bit. I tried to go to "family" dinner tonight, but I got a freaking anxiety attack there. I made up some lame excuse that i had to work tonight and left. She knew i was bluffing, but i can't very well tell her that i think i am having a heart attack when i see her.
I am not sure what to do here. I feel weak. I feel hopeless.
