Everything you posted was gold, you're finally being real with yourself, there's alot of power in that, you get to make decisions concerning you now, you're not just reacting to your W, you're responding based on the situation and based on what you want, and there is a difference between reacting & responding and you're doing the latter, you've realized alot of personal growth, even at such a high price it's definitely a good thing.
Is this not the goal for all of us regardless how our sitches turn out in the end?
