Haven't seen H for 48 hrs= always puts me on edge - I get nervous about losing him.
We agreed to meet at 1pm to switch off S - I had a meeting and H was going to MIL's with S. I forgot my phone at home.
H txts and calls at 12:30 to ask if he could come 1/2 hr. late. I didn't get messages. H shows up at on time, apparently annoyed and irritable. H says first off "why didn't you get my messages" no hello to me or my friends. I ask what I can do to clarify any questions and he says well it doesn't help him now. Doesn't tell me what the messages were about.
I ask what time he is staying at MIL's until because I would like to come by after my meeting. H sounds annoyed and says he doesn't want that. H says he "doesn't want to deal with logistics". I don't by it but say, ok, even though I explain that I'll be done early and would rather be with S on my time off. I ask when he'll be done at MIL's and home so that I can plan. H is still irritable and doesn't give an answer. I say ok, how about being home by dinner? Text me when he leaves? He cuts me off saying "ok, ok!" and just leaves.
I feel like crap the rest of the afternoon.
These is the same problems I've had with him since day 1 of our R.
- H is unfriendly with my social circle, so I feel he is uninterested in my life. - H is irritated and annoyed but won't say why - is snappy and cuts me off. Makes me feel like I'm a big problem for just talking. - H will not stick to our schedule, changes at the last minute, even though I have clearly stated I would like plans 24 hrs ahead. - H refuses to tell me his schedule and I have to risk "nagging" to get info. - H refuses to hear how his rude communication style hurts me. - I walk on eggshells, wondering what his mood will bring. - the worse part is that I don't feel he cares when he hurts me. he thinks "I'm too sensitive". I want him to care that those interactions hurt me, whether he intends them to or not.
Talked with my friend - she reminded me to get space (do my walk away/24hr rule) and not bring it up. If he is willing to hear me, he will bring it up. If not, I can bring it up in therapy or not at all.
