She doesn't care that you were worried about her, that you don't trust her or that you're disappointed in her. She doesn't care about you or your marriage right now. She's deep into an affair, and that's where her priorities are. Sad, but true.
Others will weigh in, but it's needy, pursuing -- and then you're telling her that her taking another trip will not happen again. Whether she takes another trip is NOT your decision - controlling.
It's ok to write a letter and get stuff off of your chest, but then throw it away.
