Yes!!! Not acting on emotion and impulses is the hardest thing for us all and you have control! In fact, people who have problems with drugs and alcohol abuse them because they can't handle the emotions and reign them in.
... or shopping / spending money, or eating ... (ala my WAW) ...
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Okay, about letting her know you are still committed to your vows...this is how I said it to my MIL but it is just an example and you may not want to put it this way. I sent her an email with a pic of S and added "Hope you are well. Regardless of what happens to WH and I, you will still be a part of S's life. I do want you know that I am still committed to our marriage and I am hoping to reconcile one day. Take care,"
I actually really like that newmama. The bit about hoping to reconcile one day is the bit I have a problem with (and I know this is just your email not what you are suggesting I send).
The reason I have a problem with it is that a) I want to send it but b) that may be seen as being needy, clingy and goes against the tough love NC that I have at the moment ... I think.
What do you guys think?
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In my case, I have been an active part of WH's family throughout our marriage. I can't recall if you were as involved with MIL or not.
W's family all live 300 miles from here so it's difficult. However MIL did come up and stay with us a number of times. She is the only member of the entire family I've actually heard from. Everybody else has abandoned me and D by the looks of things - no Xmas cards, nothing.
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I don't think you need to say you are not involved with D's mum if you send a message to her to let you know you are still committed to the marriage, KWIM? If she was wondering, she could ask you.
I take your points about that (in this and your other message), and cutters message too. I shouldn't have to justify myself as I am not doing anything at all. We are friends, thankfully. For 7 years we hated each other!
I actually think that MIL will think I'm insane if I tell her that I am still committed to a marriage where the spouse has left and is shacked up with somebody else. Things are different over here in the UK than they are over in the US. But hey, I feel how I feel and I want to do what I want to do ... if loving somebody enough to let them go down their own path and fall over without picking them up is insanity, then I suppose I am.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
