musclegal, I know the conflict and ambivalence you must feel over what your H is doing. You can see his flaws and how he treats you, and you know you should reject him, but your bond to him still tugs. Trust me, I know. Over time that tug will fade. And yes, we all deserve to be with people who value us and treat us with respect.
Regarding the international travel, I understand what you're saying, but you don't know my W. As in the scenario I described, I never said she would take them and never return. She would take them, get herself into a situation she refuses to give up, then use the kids as leverage to "negotiate" a new arrangement, which would necessarily involve me not seeing them for months at a time. I'm not willing to risk that. Once my kids leave this country, my power and control over what happens to them is gone, and I won't risk it. Maybe as the years go on, and I become convinced I can trust her, but definitely not now, or soon.
My W has been good about not bringing OM into the kids lives, she has kept it completely separate. If she brings the kids halfway around the word right to his doorstep, I doubt she would maintain that boundary.
You know, I don't feel my buttons being pushed that much any more. It's been too long. Her power over me just isn't that strong any more. I have a lot of good things and good people in my life now. She doesn't hold the keys to my happiness anymore.
Thank you, you're right, I've just "acted" myself, and she continues to reject me, so what else can I do? That's one thing I haven't done through this is try to be someone I'm not.
