I have a feeling we will be having similar CONVERSATIONS at different points. We have had some already, but to really dig deep down like you two did... like you said, agonizing but needed.
The way you describe some of your thoughts/feelings that you shared with your W, I can relate to exactly. I keep wondering how long I will struggle with those things (fear of being compared, fear of being myself b/c look where that got me etc.)My H also does seem to see OW in such a different light already now, b/c from what little we do know about what she is up to since the A ended, he is disgusted. He often says the "how could I be so stupid" line.
I am encouraged by your update. For one reason, to see the changes that have continued to happen for your W and your M since the fog has been lifting. And, for another to read about how great you feel today about things moving farther along as a result of this conversation.
I was reading an article on overcoming A's the other day, and they were talking about how many couples will describe a level of honesty, openness, and therefore emotional and physical intimacy they never had before. It sounds like that is your experience and I can see that already happening for us too. I (like I'm sure you and everyone else here) would have rather not had to go through this nightmare to get to that, but focusing on the good that comes out of it seems to help.
