I think the emotional cycle your W is experiencing is a good thing, at least relative to my sitch. Your W is struggling, which might mean there are some doubts.
My W is pleasant, distant and determined. That's it. She is focused on her new life with the OM and could care less how it is effecting me. Some of her family is even supporting her. I guess they have too, she is family and they want her to be happy.
