Ok I'm just going to say it, you don't sound like a man, you sound like a mouse and that's why she's pursuing sex from someone else, she wants a man, you aren't it - you sound like a scared little boy.
Can you see this?
Grab a hold of those raisins you call balls and tell her that you heard what she was doing and that she can't share your bed anymore, she can sleep on the couch and then she should start looking for another place to live. She obviously doesn't respect you to be able to do this while living with you and if that's the case she needs to leave.
But I don't think you have what it takes to go through with this.
So then I'll ask you this.
What will it take?
Do you need to come home to find her getting a good pounding from some strange man in your own bed and her telling you "honey could you wait outside for 30min. we're not done yet."
You will go crazy in your head if you don't get this figured out.
She isn't attracted to you because she doesn't respect you as a man: if you are similar to her as you are with us with the way you post questions always sounding scared, worried, never taking initiative in your situation, never putting yourself first, etc. How could you ever expect her to respect you and want to be with you? Just be honest with yourself.
You want her to want you?
Start being a man.
Respect yourself.
Stand up for yourself.
Stand up to her.
Bring up what she did, tell her you listened the whole time, tell her that you are disgusted, tell her that you can't be with someone who would so openly disrespect you this way, tell her that you've decided that she isn't worth it anymore, tell her you've been holding on to an image of her that doesn't exist anymore, tell her that life is short and she is right and that you finally get it, she doesn't want to be with you anymore and you finally understand that now and you don't want her to be with you if it wasn't by her choice and then tell her it's time for you to move on with your life, time for you to start dating and experiencing other women and it's time for her to pack her things and leave and if she asks why she has to be the one to leave, you tell her that she made the decision to leave you already when she started acting this way.
There, you have your "script" now, do you have the guts to use it or will you just sit there tormented by your thoughts and imagination about what other things she has done with other men at your expense?
Don't be angry, don't be a psycho jealous jerk, just be calm, act almost aloof, act like your eyes are open for the first time, you get it and now you don't care anymore, you just want her to move out and leave you so that you can have some peace & quiet and enjoy your life.
