K-Are you sleeping ok? I'm not being flippant, just wondering. Listen to your body, honey. What is it telling you? Saw you in the alt but you left before we could chat. Sending you virtual hugs. love, Goldey
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
OK then sweetie, I wasn't sure if you needed to sleep, or to get your blood pumping. Can you go for a brisk walk for 10 minutes? I'll virtually hold your hand and we can skip, if you want. love Goldey p.s. You can borrow my Superboots if you need them.
Last edited by goldeylox; 01/16/1003:48 PM.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
Wow, see, I knew it... hey sounds like it was an emotional eclipse for you..try not to worry, I think things will improve and lighten, its a crisis point. Eclipses can be VERY painful (remember some of our last ones, Sept 2007, your experience 5th August) but they trigger a new course...
Ok, first off.. he's not going anywhere. He's not scared or daunted, or put off by your meltdown. Ok, so he did the man thing, tried to offer solutions, like relax, take a trip etc..men like to 'fix'. Fantastic news that he WILL sort out the emails and you can look at his phone whenever. Sounds like he really heard you?
I know you cant compare bf and Helen BUT.. I too had to cope with finding out he had taken her to meet his Mum, his brother, BMF 1, 2 and 3.. weekends away, photos of them together smiling with the above, holidaying with his family, last night I found out they went to see a film this time last year I wanted to see...etc etc etc.
How did I cope with all that? I just decided to NOT dwell on it, to put it out of my mind, pushed it out of my head. I would ask all the questions, absorb the answers, think about it for a bit and then purposefully kind of take a deep breath and 'blow it out' and .. smile, I would make myself smile (thinking, ok, that hurt... but he's MINE now, not hers).
This is making you ill, tired, depressed even..think of it this way.. if you DID break up now, would you spend time dwelling on these facts? Imagining it? No. So.. why not try and just stop thinking about it!? Sounds easy huh.
On the other point, the lies, deceit, coming over lying to you whilst being in an R with her.. ok, I dont know how you get past that one. Anyone else got any ideas? He had the classic A with all the assiciated selfish deceitful behaviour that entails. What do the books say? (like that one - After the Affair)???
Hey thinking of you sweets xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
((((Sweetie)))), You sound depressed. Sleeping TOO much is not good either. If you can't find a good MC, can you look for an IC? You really need to deal with the issues of the A. Believe me I can relate to what you're going through because I felt like that for many months and it's only been recently that I've started to let go of the past even though those thoughts still come to the forefront. I have to keep reminding myself to not dwell on the past - it's a very conscious decision I have to make every day. Don't allow that ...OW to have this kind of power over your present and future. Your H is taking some positive steps, however small. He seems to be more understanding of what you're going through. Try to build on this little by little.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
I'm sorry M, I just put my phone in signal, but I didnt get your text??
It is horrid. I found out they went to the cinema... I said, isnt that wierd, you took her to see that film less than a year ago and here you are with me, babymaking?? He always pulls this face now.. as if to say, well it is what it is, that was then, this is now, I cant explain it and just says "But it doesnt matter anymore, its past.. I'm here now, with you." I think men see things more 'compartmenalised' than we do.
I think your H has clearly moved on and she is history and NOT a threat anymore, only in your mind. It sounds like you need to pamper yourself.. hey Jupiter moves into Pisces tommorow, I read that we have been carrying the weight of something on our shoulders, or responsibility for something for too long and its time to put down the backpack and just go enjoy ourselves.. maybe he is right, you should take some time off, or away. Do what YOU want to do for a few days.. you dont need to be trying so hard anymore. Sounds like he is well and truly back with you. But that you are slowly moving back towards each other. Rome wont collapse if you take a few days out??
I cant explain why it is hitting me so hard lately. I knew these things for quite some time, I knew these when I said "yes, let's do it", why am I now going backwards?
She definitely has power over my present. My self esteem is to a 1-10 scale, -100. I think I will go to sleep again... K
Darling, beautiful woman! Why is your self esteem so low? What specifically is it that is making you feel 'less than'?
Do yourself a huge favor. Start exercising at least 30 minutes a day. Anything that will get your blood pumping fast for that long. The endorphins help depression SO much! You all got me moving with your gift and all I can say is that it has made a huge difference. My IC says that exercise is much better than any AD on the market and a combination of AD's and exercise is the ultimate cure for depression.
Like your H said, maybe you should get away by yourself for a long weekend and collect yourself, pamper yourself, read a good book (NOT self-help!!) and be calm. Do things to stay out of your own head for a while.
Other than that, all I can offer is a huge virtual hug for you and the assurances that you are an amazing, kind, passionate, beautiful woman and there is absolutely no reason for you to EVER feel 'less than'.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Believe me, I truly do understand. Everyone backslides. From February until October, I barely got out of bed except to go to work. On weekends, I would crawl into bed Friday night, and not get out until Sunday evening.
I stopped cooking. I stopped parenting. I stopped answering the phone, checking email. I quit going out, even to the market. I just lay there, waiting for my life to end. Then, out of the blue...I had a day that didn't suck.
