Wow, you've got some decisions to make. Allow me to provide some input.
1 - Don't you have a good job where you're at now? You say you left that particular work arena for a reason, and you also say you wouldn't be staying in it for more than 3.5 years if you returned. Do you want to be in close proximity to him? You say you love the city you're in...for a variety of reasons. And you make more money where you are now. Missing your daughter is a tough one. It's one you've been dealing with for a little while though. Same for your family.
It sounds like, despite the fact that you miss your daughter and family, that you really like it where you are. And you're doing really good there.
Those things carry some weight...they matter!
2 - Sounds like you're close to gettin' it done. I agree, it is sad. And there are no winners. It's a damn shame that it takes a spouse leaving in order for some of us to become better men, husbands, and fathers...but sometimes it does. And we are better. Change can happen, and when it does...it can be profound. Just keep on taking care of yourself then...under the circumstances, it sounds like you'll do OK.
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. - Emerson
ps - yeah, I'm an Emerson fan...Thoreau too.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
