Sleep. check Eat. check Move. hmmm... Lemme think about that one. It hurts to move. Pray. Every hour, my friend. Reach out. You have mail, folks.
Did I sleep enough? Probably not. But I got a good 7 hours, so I'll take it. Eat? Nourishment...I'm taking in healthy calories. Avoiding carbs. Keeping an eye on my BP and what I'm putting in. (Can't quite give up those cigarettes yet!) I went to a prayer service yesterday at our local hospital. The presider spoke quite nicely on the Baptism of the Lord (which is also the day we baptized Bear #1, 19 years ago). Special memories of a happier time in Goldey's life.
It was a really, really good day today. I learned that I was approved for the apartment. Move in Feb 1st (or maybe sooner?) And I decided to just sit with that for a while, and take care of business with the hurt foot. Ahhhh....what's that sound? Nothing. Stillness. Peace. Freedom. Finally. Today's reading in the Language of Letting Go is on expressing Anger in a healthy way. I'm mad at my right leg and I'm mad that the doctor is not more sympathetic. Letting go is harder than it looks. love, Goldey
Time to check out of the hotel where I am treated like a rockstar princess. (I love it here!) I made my final call to the Women's Crisis Line, trying to find space in ANY local battered women's shelter. I don't understand. How many women are out there, staying in a bad sitch because they have no where else to go? I told them, I'll go anywhere...Las Vegas, Arizona, Colorado, Conneticut (wow, how do you spell CT anyway?) Oh wait. No one's going to just hand it to you, Goldey. You have to stand on your own two feet. Or at least the good left one. I'll be staying w/ a family (identity withheld, duh) until the apartment is ready. A good lesson in patience for Goldey. I don't like to ask for help. It makes me feel weak. You know what is actually weak...having an injury that forces you to bed for days at a time. Today...in this moment...I'm homeless. I'm disabled. And in an odd sort of way...I'm free. I can do anything I want today. WOW.
copied from the Prayer Circle... ^ So God, here I am again, asking for help. For Goldey's foot. That I heal quickly so I can get back to the business of being S16's mom. In thanksgiving for my new apartment. Move in is 2/1, but I can get the keys early. Praise to you, God. In gratitude for the dozens (check that, hundreds) of people who have gone out of their way to offer support, prayers, and hope. For this hotel, my safe refuge. The list humbles me. For all my little bears. For those too afraid to speak up about their abusers. To ask for help. And finally, for my precious S16, and those who are caring for him. He is the most special person I have ever known. *more purple puddles* Let God's will be done. Amen.
For those following along at home, I did check out of the hotel yesterday morning. In the process of checking out, and driving to the new apartment to put down my deposit, I overdid it, and realized I was in no condition to be driving. So I had my friend that was helping me drop me off at the nearest (insert hotel name here) and let the family that had offered refuge know not to expect me. I'm back at the hotel, and I'm not moving anymore. Period. Called my credit card company and asked for an emergency increase. And I'm going to just sit. And listen. To God. And my awesome tunes on the spanking-new laptop. Order room service (maybe). Perhaps a little later I will venture to the Laundry Area where I will party like the rockstar that I am. Pray hard for S16 today, I'm about to call him. Right now. p.s., Does this make any sense?
Last edited by goldeylox; 01/16/1004:25 PM. Reason: I'm rambling a bit
No, I'm confused. Why have you dropped the idea of moving? I thought you were happy about the apartment. Have you seen a Dr. about the tendonitis? I used to have problems with that and took celebrex. It really helped.
When you say you're "not moving", are you referring to just laying still for a while?
Otherwise, I agree with Lotus; why give up on the apt.? What are you going to do if you don't get your own place?
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Thanks for dropping by my thread today. Wow, you've been through so much, and yet you've managed to uphold a mostly cheerful demeanor even in the face of such anguish. You model much strength!
Yes, I will indeed keep you and your bears in my thoughts and prayers. I really hope all of you are safe and stay that way.
I'll even reserve a prayer for your sick jerk of a H, that maybe he'll somehow let God in his heart and seek the psychological and spiritual help he truly needs (not that I personally can muster up too much pity for anyone who behaves as he does, but for the sake of his own lost soul, he needs a word put before God.)
I'm confused too. Is the apartment just on hold while you recuperate some more? Are there any friends who could help move your stuff while you sit and direct so you could get in there now? Or is there an advantage to staying at the hotel?
