K4D It's a Wonderful Life

[K4D]

If you are tired of her crappy behavior then don't allow it anymore. It is SO simple. You cannot control her but if you set boundaries her crap behavior will not be a part of YOUR life anymore.

At the very last, after this latest disaster you should be telling her: W: This will NOT happen again. I will no longer alter plans to accommodate you or your family on my weekends with the children. If a special day (b-day or whatever) happens to fall on my time I will make plans as I so choose.

In a matter of 24 hours your wife has:

*Changed plans on YOUR night with the children and as per usual, pitched a hissy fit when she got the slightest indication that she was not in charge.

*Shows up at your house when it is convenient for HER and has so little respect for you that she just bangs on the door and assumes you will be there (alone) and you will again accommodate her.

She assumed I was in the shower and couldn't hear her is why she was banging on the door. Truth is, I was and actually couldn't hear her.

*She enters in YOUR bedroom (personal space) and chatters away while you are in a TOWEL. Attempts to extract information from you about your employment (don't think there isn't a reason she is doing this) and you TELL her everything she wants to know.

Failure on my part for not setting a boundary right there.

*Leaves you with the grunt work of getting the kids showered then basically tells you to bring them back to HER house because you are too stupid to dress your OWN CHILDREN properly.

I guess she had other ideas of how she wanted D8 to look. But point taken.

*She ruffles through papers on your table that don't belong to her and without having to do any digging, you spill all the details despite the fact she should not be TOUCHING anything in your home.

She didn't touch any of it. She just looked over at it. And yes, I did give her a general idea of what I am working on, but not enough for her to be able to do anything with it.

Oh, and part of the reason she acted nice and interested about your job was simply to throw you a bone so you would do what she wanted about the van.

The van I had already agreed to sign over previously. I just hadn't done it yet because I haven't been given the title to sign over to her.

Wow, she sounds like quite a prize. If you are so tired of her and the sh*t she pulls then STOP LETTING HER.

Isn't this the same woman that won't even allow you in HER house unless she has approved it? Fine, that is her boundary. Yet you are okay with her barging in unannounced to boss you around, invade your personal space, look at YOUR stuff without permission and leave you with the grunt work in regard to the children. All on YOUR day with them?

I know. No I wasn't overly thrilled with it. But I didn't set a boundary either. It does seem like when I set the slightest boundary, she tries to push on it more. Interesting.

We did D8's birthday party. It went very well. We had plenty of kids show up and D8 had a great time. She got to eat pizza, play lots of games, got lots of presents, etc. She had a good time.

During this time I had dropped off D8 to W to put on whatever W wanted her to wear. D12 and I grabbed the other presents from W's house and set out to the place to set up the tables and presents, etc. W shows up with D8 and we kind of work out a few of the details before it starts. Through out the time W would try and make conversation with me about how the party is going and D8, etc. When she would talk, I would listen briefly and comment and then turn away and focus on D8 or something else. There was one dad there so I spent some time talking to him and W spent some time talking to a mom that was there. While we were doing the games D8 wanted me and W to do bumper cars with her, so we did. We all had fun and a laugh out of it. Other than that, I just didn't want to be around her. I didn't care what she had to say. I didn't want to hear from her. I can't seem to get out of this mood of not wanting to see her, hear from her, etc this weekend. I cleaned everything up after it was over while W and D8 and D12 cashed out tickets and got some prizes. Then we went to pay and I paid half. W offered me money, I said no, I have it. Then we went to the car and I got the girls in with me and W and I split ways.

At one point she asks me if I am ok. I said yup and continued walking on.

So tonight we are meeting her for dinner for D8's crab legs and shrimp. Oddly enough I bought a nice shirt to wear on the way home for tonight. It is weird. I think about her when I am not with her. But when I am with her, I know she is not with me R wise and I just don't want anything to do with her while she is the way she is. Strange isn't it. I guess I finding myself thinking how things could be, yet when with her I know how things are and I want nothing to do with it.

So one last gathering tonight for dinner. I have not been able to put my best foot forward this weekend because I have not wanted to be around her. We will see if that changes tonight. At least D8 is having a good birthday and I am glad for her. She deserves it. She really is a sweet kid at heart.

Kevin