Trying to move on

[ClingingToHope]

I'm starting to freak out a bit. I've been running on adrenaline this week, but now we are two days away from the big meeting.

I'm going to church at 11 a.m. that day and I hope it gets me in the right mind-set. Listen. Write everything down. Ask questions but don't argue.

Deep down, I still believe this is a major mistake on W's part and someday she'll realize that. This is the beginning of the new normal and I have a chance to set the tone. Positive, upbeat, don't worry about scoring points or making points. Really, if I've improved at all, this is a test for me.

[mishka422]

NO freaking out, approach it like you would a business deal. No emotion.

[Kemper]

CTH,

Sorry to hear you are starting to freak out. I know how you feel. I met with the L today and financially speaking with two young kids it isn't the greatest outcome.

I agree with you about it being a major mistake. I hope my W will someday realize it as well. However, today her drug (A) is to strong to see that.

Stay strong and post when you need support.

[ClingingToHope]

It's going to be all about staying busy. I'm out of here in 15 minutes to score another basketball game and make a few bucks.

I texted a friend about going out after and she -- yes, she -- said yes. She's a commercial Realtor that I talk to for stories and was a year ahead of me in school. She went through a D four years ago and said she's just now getting back to normal.

It's not really a date. It's just something to do. If it doesn't happen, I'll just get some sleep.

Tomorrow I'm going to work out and play basketball in the morning. Clean the apartment in the afternoon for the Sunday meeting and then go to a friend's to watch football and go out after.

Sunday? Shoot baskets in the morning, church then the big meeting.

After? We'll see how the meeting goes. I have a feeling I'm going to be emotionally exhausted.

Kemper. You haven't been married all that long. Was there any indication before marrying that she was the type to play the field?

[Kemper]

Sounds like you have a great weekend planned. Enjoy it.

Kemper. You haven't been married all that long. Was there any indication before marrying that she was the type to play the field?

Nope. Based on our conversations I figured she had gotten it out of her system when she was younger. She wasn't a s*ut but she wasn't a virgin either (who is these days) so I thought she got it out of her system.

When we talked at length before getting married these were some of the things we talked about
* Divorce wasn't an option unless there is physical/verbal abuse or an A. We would work together to solve any issues in our M. We both felt very strong (I still do) about this since we both come from D households.
* My W looked down on people that had an A. She commented about how they didn't try to work on M. An A was a dealbreaker and would lead straight to D if I ever had one.

Now I did change my tune a little about an A being a dealbreaker after all this crap happened.

[awest1217]

CTH,

Just take some time and relax your mind before the meeting. Do like Mishka said and just treat this like a business meeting, especially when it comes to the money. When it comes to the custody, emotions might run high there, so you just need to be aware of your feelings and if need be, excuse yourself and have someplace you can go (another room) where you can regain your emotions. This is all business, and in business you need to make sure you are prepared for anything. Stay focused on what her proposal is and how you can counter to get what you want. Have a good weekend otherwise. Just relax and try (very hard to do) to not think about the meeting all the time. It will make you more anxious, and you need to be aware and calm.

Kemper,
Sorry to here about you sitch. Our WAS's are similar in that my H always said D was not an option and even talked about how another father was horrible for having an affair and leaving his family and how that was damaging to the kids. All said about 2 months before his started.

[Kemper]

awest1217,

It is amazing how their character, morals, and values can change so quickly. I hope you had a good dinner with your in-laws tonight.

[C-Bart]

How did the non-date, date go?

Good luck tomorrow with your W. Try not to be attached to the outcome of one day. You will have several months to make changes before anything becomes final.

I've held of asking you this question for some time now cause I didn't want to nag. Have you had any luck finding the NMMNG book?

[C-Bart]

... wasn't a virgin either (who is these days)

I'm starting to feel like one again!

[mishka422]

I'm starting to feel like one again!

Seriously! I think these things can go in reverse. There needs to be some biological rule that says after x amount of time you are a virigin again. I'd love to claim that one!