Looking for Advice

[Greek]

Greek -

Knowing my wife and since she knows me...me not answering the phone is going to be shell shock...way out of norm for either of us. So, she will ask...she will ask why I didn't answer or where we were at (she knows I'll have the kids with me)...so how do I answer that, how do I imply I was just too busy? And if she calls at the house and we are here, I have to answer, the kids will know its her.

She doesn't KNOW anything. She thinks she knows but see now things are changing so really, she knows she doesn't really know. Get that? Haha! W leaves vm with a question about the kids. Text her the answer. She'll call. Let her leave VM. For those times when the kids are there and you feel you must pick up, let one of the children answer. If you end up on the phone with her and she asks why you haven't been answering her calls "I've been busy. Is there something you want? (listen for answer). OK. Hey, I've gotta run. Ciao!"

Where were you? What are you doing? Who are you with? Those are all questions that a married couple can expect to get answers to. But a spouse who walks away should not expect to be privy to what she/he walked away from. That is your boundary to place, GW. If she has the same access to you as she always did b/c you let her have it, that's a problem you are creating for yourself. You are letting her cake eat and you don't want to do that.

Make sure I get the hint right - the goal is to make me as unavailable so hopefully she will then want to talk to me as bad as I want to talk to her.

Sorta. But not really. The goal is for YOU to be YOU for YOU...not her. And that will get her attention. You are this fabulous guy with interests and prospects and a schedule that suits you. You are healthy and comfortable in your own skin b/c that's who YOU are. This is confidence. And confidence is attractive. You will find it not only attracts wayward spouses but others, as well. But the reason to be that way is b/c it's goodness for you.

Greek