It is a terribly foreign feeling to implement counter intuitive behaviors when dealing with a WAS.

While it had no bearing on my situation as far as the outcome I will never forget this moment and when doing counter intuitive things felt wrong I tried to remember this:

My H stayed in our home five weeks after he dropped the bomb. He then moved out under totally false pretenses. A few weeks later he came over and told me divorce was his only option. I sat there, listened to him, told him he was right - I agreed a divorce was best and and let him know I would leave the filing up to him and would respond with legal counsel upon receipt of the paperwork. I did not cry or yell. In fact, I said this all in a very calm and rational tone (inside I wanted to beat him senseless, lol!). He sat there, looked at me and started sobbing. I did nothing. He sobbed for a few minutes then get SO mad at me said "this is NOT the reaction I wanted or expected".

So basically you cheat on me, dump me, move without telling me, ignore me for a month, tell me every time we speak that you never will love me again, you can't stand me, you hated every second of being married to me, we are not meant to be and nothing will change your mind, you are not attracted to me and never have been, divorce is your only option, you found somebody better and <insert typical WAS script here> then get ANGRY when I say.. ok, no problem?

I sat there and let him sob for a minute then calmly said he better go (as in leave my house) and he sat there for a minute longer. I went to the kitchen and started making my dinner and he got furious and said "I guess I don't need to eat" and stomped out. LOL!

Sure babe, I will be happy to cook you dinner after you inform me we are getting divorced. No problem!

I kid you not, the very next day my phone rang and he told me he was having a very bad day at work and he needed me to "talk him down" or he was going to lose it. I ended that call. After work that night he called.. could he come over to give me some Starbucks gift cards a vendor gave him? I said sure. When he came over I was dressed to the nines and rushed him along. He did not like this. He then said TO MY DOG "I guess your mommy wants me out so she can go out". YUP!

I walked out with him, got in my car and left. For three days after that he sent me pissy e-mails about where I was, who I was with and so on.

You (general you) are doing what they ask... you are letting them go because they don't want to be married anymore. Sometimes it shocks them into rethinking that choice, sometimes not. Either way it's better than sitting around feeling like crap!