Quote:
I usually have a negative view of the world; negative expectations and perceptions.
Consciously reverse negative thoughts; don't give voice to the negative perceptions. Cause who wants to be around a negative person?

I can have a very mean sense of humor. I mean, c'mon, I really can be funny! But sometimes it can be too mean.
Be more careful and thoughtful of what I joke about.

I can be very impatient.
Remember to breathe.

I can get very anxious, and then ditzy, and do annoying things like lose my wallet, keys, etc.,
Hmmmm.....not so easy to fix. Working on the anxiety.

I am very insecure about a lot of things, and tend to get defensive about those things.
Hmmmm....that's a hard one. I guess just being aware of this is step one, right?

Relationship things:
Sigh. Fear. Withholding. Inability to trust. Guarded.
Well, now that I have had EVERY reason to have felt and acted all of the above (I know, self-fulfilling prophecy) these will be VERY TOUGH to work on.
I will start with R's with FRIENDS. Trusting them. Letting down my guard. Sharing. All of which I have been doing (maybe too much!) these past few months. One friend let me down. I am OK with that. All others have been fabulous.


First, it sounds really smart to start working on the relationship things with friends. Letting down one's guard is sooo hard to do (one of my problems too) but it starts slowly with admitting your true feelings about something personal. I have started and my friends have been shocked saying they always wondered about such and such but I never brought it up.It made us feel closer--intimacy building, duh!

Changing negative views like you said, starts with stopping the thought. This is a hard habit but it can be done! You are right that negative people are not pleasant to be around. I wonder if it stopping your negative thoughts will also help to stop with negative humor and being defensive? Let me know what you are doing because I don't have negative humor but I can be defensive which I think may stem from not wanting to make mistakes..why do you think you are defensive?

About the negative humor-a friend of mine has this and only shares it with a couple of people like myself and her husband and she is sooo funny! She says she just needs to let it out sometimes and knows the two of us can take it! (which is true-I can laugh at myself and I just say "watch it" if it is too mean but usually it is about other people when she does it)

I had to laugh about losing stuff and you said you weren't sure if that could be changed! I was thinking something similar the other day about not keeping my purse and car clean- There are always pop cans(car not purse) or pens and random stuff and receipts and I have been this way my whoooooooole life!

Overall, making goals for self improvement sounds like a great start! It can be daunting to do all of them at once.
It sounds like you have a fun weekend planned! Way to go!


me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004