Water,

You would have been so proud of me at how I handled the soccer practice with my h there. Totally ignored him. I got into the practice, helping the players, kicked the ball around like i hadn't a care in the world. Acted if he wasn't there. He didn't acknowledge me.

At the close of the practice he waited for my son and I to walk to the van but I changed it up this time and let my son walk his dad to the car to say bye. I stayed there playing ball. But what was surprising is my h came back...like he was still waiting for us to leave so he could walk us to the van. I didn't give him a chance and played ball till he got bored and left.

Oh it hurt so much to do it but I did and I'm proud of myself for maintaining my composure and distance.

Today when I met with attorney she asked me what did I want to do...putting aside all legal aspects of the divorce. I said not get divorced. So she said we can go and try to get the continuance...lay it out to the judge our reasons why: h not taking meds consistently, eradict mood, 3 weeks ago said wanted to stay married, attended some counseling. She thinks the judge may give it to me even if h says he doesn't want it just because I have been footing the bill for this d, going to counseling, working on m, divorce decree is done, h hasn't paid for anything, the final hearing was not at my request, etc. I may have a chance but to what end? I don't know how my h is going to take the notice of the continuance...he could become extremely angry and file a countersuit. Well the attorney said if he does that then I can go ahead and go the final and get the d. The continuance if approved will allow me time if I want it and I can get a d anytime after that.

Everyone thinks I'm bananas for chasing after a marriage that was so bad! I mean we've had our good moments but since h moved out he's been one messed up dude to say the least.

Well I'll keep ya posted. H will get the notice of the continuance in the mail probably Saturday!!!! I'm going to duck and run for cover by going out of town this weekend!!!!

Cindy