I haven't sent H a reply to his original email yet. I thought it would be best if I waited a few days. I will probably send something similar to what R2C suggested.
Today was S6's first basketball game and the first time I have seen H in awhile. S6 did great. They all tried so hard. H and I had a civil conversation, but nothing more. I mostly spent my time cheering on S6, catching up with the other parents, and chasing after S4 and D2.
The kids are with H this weekend so after the game we all went to our separate cars. In the process, S4 wouldn't let go of me and D2 started to cry. It was so painful to have to turn around and walk away without them. I cried all the way home and now have hateful, angry feelings toward H. How can he do this to them?
I am at a crossroads with my feelings towards H and our M. All along I have told him that D is not what I want. That I won't assist in the D process, but I won't stand in his way either. Yet he hasn't lifted a finger to do anything about it. He hasn't indicated in any way that he wants to work on the M. But he hasn't started the D process either. It is like he is waiting for me to make the first move towards D. I think I am ready to do that. But at the same time keep asking myself, what if I wait a little longer?
Me & H: 33 yrs S: 4 & 6 D: 2 M: 9 yrs ILYBNILWY: 8/09 SEPARATED: 9/09 The Beginning
