Sandi2, yes your post on different WAS makes total sense.
The way I see it WAS is a person who has checked out of M, they don't want things to work out.
It might look like it's complicated, you (I don't mean sandi) left but you want your M to work, what kind of WAS are you? If you want to save your M, than you are not a WAS.
IMHO, in the case of abuse walking away is enforcing boundary and keeping yourself safe.
I believe there must be a different set of rules to follow in that case.
I've seen one poster (jane73 or something like that) with abuse sitch that worked out. Unfortunately there are many posters where abuse kept escalating.
