Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Well WH just picked up S and said they would be coming back a little eary because his stepdad wants to see him one more time before he goes. He asked me if I wanted to join them but he understands if I would feel uncomfortable. First I thought he said he told them to meet me at our house which ticked me off because he didn't ask me first. But no he was saying it could be at various locations and our house was one option.

My gut said "yes, go!" But then my thinking started to kick in... wondering if it is sending a wrong message or wondering about creating distance and that not going would help to be distant.

Then I thought that it would be another situation where once again, the OW is not part of a family gathering and bonding, etc. etc.

So I checked with one of my friends who said "NO. It would be easing WH's guilt and he wants to show his stepdad you are ok with the situation."

Another friend said "You should go- the more interaction with his family the better and if it were me, I would (she also went through an A with her H)"

So THEN I decided to call my SIL and see what she thought and to ask about the other night. She said 1) Their stepdad KNOWS about the situation, doesn't agree with WH and also is confident that WH is a good man making a bad decision 2)Their stepdad really wants to meet me and 3)Not meeting him will not make WH stay longer in the A. But she added that she completely respected my decision and so would stepdad if I didn't go.

Oh and she said actually they really did have to leave that night to go to a banquet but they also did want WH and stepdad to be alone together.

So I am going to go...but at least I didn't say "SURE!" instantly when WH asked. I told him to check with me later and we would see.