My H has also filed for a D and NO I DO NOT WANT IT!!
But here is my current thinking. The anger and the blaming it all on you is evidence of the stage he is in. The more you try to convince him you do not want this or it is not the right thing or he is throwing away all the years together....just makes him dig in his heals. You are actually giving him JUSTIFICATION for his thinking. You are giving him the control and power.
The more you act that way, the more he can say, "see she is totally irrational, unrealistic, blah blah blah" See? And beleive me he will make it out more in his mind that is reality. So when your acting that way, he makes it 10 times worse in his head.
To me this is just another step in the process. Kind of like moving out, or going to C. They are all places H is looking for the happiness he is searching for. The thought that goes through H head (I think) is something like: Water, your the reason I'm unhappy, so I need to move out. Ok, that didn't make me happy, so lets give the C a try. Still not happy, lets get OW, hummmm still not happy. I know, I need to D Water, that will make me happy.
My guess is that will not make him happy either. But until he lives through it, I cannot change his mind.
And even for me it will put closure to that R. There is NO WAY that I want that R back. IF we EVER get back together, it will have to be a totally NEW R.
I'm not giving up hope, just watching the process. No piece of paper can tell me to stop loving H.
