So we did talk on the eclipse. And he saw I am struggling. His suggestion was to relax. Ok, thanks!!
I was in a really bad mood. I mean crying and all. He says I am focusing on the past too much. I talked to him about the present. How the present makes me miserable. Being with a man buddies, not trusting him and getting no help from him to eventually trust him. He said the way he sees it, we are 20km apart, distance that came bewteen us the last 3 years and we are getting closer slowly. He said he knows I am stressed and tries to help out by calling me during the day, hurrying up at work to be home as early as possible. He said, he will do as I ask regarding the passwords, emails etc. He said he stopped earsing messages and that I can look at his cell phone whenever I like.
He also told me the couple of friends that dont talk to me for their own reasons, have met her. That really hurt. He said they met for drinks and dinner once with a big group of people.
I dont think he can do anything for me. I just dont think I can do it. He told me to get help, travel, leave, take time off, do anything I want just to get some rest and relax. I think I want ADs. Last night I wanted to die. In some form, just to quiet the pain and thoughts.
I cant get the lies and deceit out of my head. I cant get the visions of them two,doing simple things like going to the movies, going to dinner, sleeping together and him coming over denying anyone was in his life.
How do you piece the damn thing together?????????????????? K
