You do NOT want to be a jerk. You do NOT want to be rude. You do not act in a punitive manner to her. You do NOT show anger or discontent.
Ok? Got that?
However.... You are going overboard the other way...
The key is a quiet confidence that you will not share your wife with not only another man, but ANY man. The key is to show her that even though you admit you screwed up in the marrieage, that you WILL let her go. Freely. You will NOT stop her from leaving. She is totally free to go and as a matter of fact you think that she SHOULD go because you just will not share a woman you have a committment with, with ANY man. Firmly, matter of factly, and confident.
YOU do not chase her. You don not tell her you lover her. YOu do not make her do anything. You just open the cage door and let her freely go. You then drop any tralk of getting back together. You are nice to her, but that is it. You don't act angry or bitter, but you don't ask for anything of her other than to move out asap because YOU HAVE NOW DECIDED that this isn't going to work unless she WANTS to be here...
THAT is they attitude that gives you the best chance to reconcile. It isn't falling all over her with endless letters of love and devotion. It is a quiet confidence of "I am ok and I will be ok, and I realize why you found someone else, BUT I am not going to do anything to reconcile if you are with someone else....
THAT comes AFTER your reconscile because she WANTS to. As long as you pressure her, she will fight the pressure.
Now, the reason this works so well is that she will secretly respect your stance because it shows confidence. She will test you, no doubt. LET HER. Just hold your ground. You have to remeomber that the wayward is very rarely positive that they are doing the right thing. They are not sure if they are making a mistake. When you allow them to go they suddenly start to question if they HAVE screwed up. IS this what I want they think? HOLD your ground when you get tough. Contniue on with your life and go out and enjoy yourself. Have fun. Let her see you are having fun. Let h er see you havging the time of your life. This is what works.
