Jak, Matilda, Aud, Doc, and DB Friends, Our Puerto Rico trip is drawing near. I picked-up a AAA travel guide and have been studying it to plan an intinerary. My strength for putting some structure into the trip will be of assistance to her.
We've been out dancing twice in the past week. I'm enjoying my return to the Salsa community. I still want to devote time to ballroom dancing and lessons. I would get bored doing strictly Salsa. I have a desire to dance and practice the other Latin dances and Waltz. My W sat on my lap at one of our venues. A picture was taken of my W, myself, and a lady who enjoys dancing with me. In the picture, the lady's head is practically on my shoulder, while my W is in the distance.
My W wants to begin Salsa lessons at a studio where her Salsa friends practice. I told her I would go only if she goes. I already take a ballroom lesson per week at our home studio (which I'm hoping she'll join me for). It takes a lot of effort to learn a dance combination, and I'm not going to a second class by myself.
My W said she thought my family treated her differently over the holidays. She said that she put an effort into trying to have a nice time with them.
I've been making an effort to sleep in the main bedroom with her. I go to sleep in the guest room, and in the middle of the night join her. She doesn't go to sleep when I do. The guest room is more sound proof, so the television doesn't bother me.
Any complaints or concerns I have at this time are minor. I get frustrated with her lack of consistency in taking lessons. I need to not expect her to meet all my dance needs. I know we will have to turn the intimacy corner at some point.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I've been making an effort to sleep in the main bedroom with her. I go to sleep in the guest room, and in the middle of the night join her. She doesn't go to sleep when I do. The guest room is more sound proof, so the television doesn't bother me.
CL
Great work CL.. My W sleeps in a twin bed in her office. I am afraid if I tried going in there after she falls asleep one of us would end up on the floor..and It would me ME... Keep up the good work buddy
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Matilda, Aud, Jak, Doc, and DB Friends, My W and I leave for Puerto Rico tomorrow. We have been studying Spanish together. I doubt if I'm ready to engage in dialogue with a Spanish speaking person. My W is impressed that I'm willing to venture beyond the big city to explore the island.
My W's friend has returned from PR. She has increased clarity about his character and its impact on her. She mentioned that her eating habits have improved during the time he's been gone. She realizes that he has little to offer as a friend. She is planning on asking him to reimburse her for expenses incurred from their last PR trip. He and his W are no longer in the same household. He is left to try and sell their home. He is unemployed due to poor judgment on his part. I see him as someone who will have to experience the consequences of poor life choices, and make some significant changes.
He tells my W that he is depressed, which pulls on her heart strings. She will continue to have some involvement with him. She has a pattern of wanting to help people who have hit bottom in their lives. She will have to learn, and hopefully is learning, that one can help those in need, but boundaries need to be in place, otherwise one is no longer helping but serving as a distraction. I will let her make her own decisions regarding this.
I've started sleeping in the main bedroom full time. I now go to bed there, even if my W is not ready to retire. She has started to cuddle with me.
We're taking a laptop with us, so I may give status updates from Puerto Rico. There are snow flurries here, following a three inch snowfall, with a temperature of 14 degrees this morning. It will be nice to miss a week of the winter season.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I am soooo Glad for you. I wish I was half the man you are. Your sitch was far worse than mine and still I am having problems mostly with myself and my attatude. You give me hope buddy. Have a great time (I wish I was going with ya) I speak a little spanish but just the "dirty words". Remember cerveza is Spanish for beer Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Doc, Jak, Matilda, Aud, and DB Friends, We're into our third day in Puerto Rico. We started to calm down and settle in on Tuesday after spending an afternoon at the beach.
My W heard Latin music at the bar and encouraged me to dance with her. I reluctantly did so. I went thru the motions to make her happy. My W drew a small crowd of admirers. A lady who had spent years working in a club, but never danced approached my W to praise her skills. My W and I gave her some basic lessons, with the hope of sparking her to give dancing a try.
We ventured into old San Juan for dinner and to walk. After dinner (my W wanted a more authentic restaurant, complaining the entire dinner), we discovered a Poetry Center that happened to be having a poetry reading. I suggested we go in to listen. It was a mix of young and older artists (poets, songwriters). My W suggested I sign up to say a few words. I said that I could share some of my favorite quotes. I centered myself to recollect the quotes from memory, and when my name was called, went up and slowly and calmly shared several of my favorite quotes to a mostly young adult audience.
We found a Salsa venue that is open every night and closed the place at 12:30AM. The venue has live music so we will likely be back.
My W shared that when she was here with her friend, they fought most of the time. There was no planning or structure, so they didn't accomplish much. She said that we did more in one day than they did in three. He also came to the trip without any money. He also believes that a woman should only dance with her partner, which was the basis for the verbal abuse at the venue last month. I came with Traveler's checks and cash, which should be enough for the trip.
She said that she was proud of me for doing the Poetry reading. I share quotes every day at my job, so the Poetry reading was doing the same thing with a different audience.
My W will be up soon, so we'll plan the day and see how Day 2 goes. I would call Day 1 a success.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Sounds good, CL! Thanks for keeping in touch while in San Juan! One thing you wrote surprised me: "My W heard Latin music at the bar and encouraged me to dance with her. I reluctantly did so." Were you reluctant to dance because of the type of music or some other reason? It seems like dancing is such a good way to connect with your wife and she seems to appreciate your skill now more than ever.
