rr22 it seems like your very early days yet, I will try and read you sitch later today, when my H first used to visit I was given an alloted 3hr period, its not to hard to keep going for that long, now we are piecing its much harder, what ever you do dont stop validating and listening, it might not always work now but it needs to be kept going, perhaps have a think about how you validate are you and Im not saying you do validating him a bit too parentally? your H sounds very very alien/foggy at the moment and if he wasnt a big talker like H4L and my H it makes life even harder, but you can see that if you can keep your calm they do start to come round as you give them a sense of security, look at Hope's brilliant response yesterday and her H has been stewing on that one for weeks but finally felt comfortable enough to talk about it.. Its too easy at the beginning to over analyse stuff we are all guilty of it, but part of detaching is accepting you have no control and they arnt the person you used to know, my H is now selfish and occasionally rude which he never used to be, but I can see he is struggling with getting his own life and doesnt know how to handle it yet! Keep working at it rr22 it can only be better than the other option.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
