As for what I'm doing, I'm separated and not complaining about it. I swing back and forth from being very angry at his selfishness, very sympathetic for his pain, and very sad for both of our losses. I had to start individual counseling to even deal with this. I'm trying to detach but it is difficult. I'm considerably more detached than I was during the SHOCK stage when it all started, but still not detached enough. Currently H started counseling on his own. Unclear whether it will be enough to cure depression or aid marriage. About whether they have a choice or not, sometimes I wish my H would go get some meds for a few months and see if it would help anything. If I were to suggest this, I know he would become resentful and accuse me of controlling him, so I don't. My counselor thinks he needs counseling and meds to get over this. Not sure why or if his counselor has referred him to an MD or not. He may not have when my H stated his opposition to meds. Sometimes he seems a little better. Often he tells me he worries he is "going crazy." It's difficult. We mostly have phone contact and only see each other in person very occasionally.
