I've hit a wall.. Now what?

[talia]

Hi Everyone - I feel good being on here. I'm not sure why I didn't do it sooner!

Breathe - you hang in there too! I've been at this hard core for a few months and it IS working. If it helps at all its made a big difference for me to go NC. I don't contact him at all and I'm friendly but resevered when he contacts me. He went from not telling me anything about his life to giving me some details about how he's spending his time...

Mark,
I'm changing for me and he knows it! I actually told him to stop telling people that I was doing it for him - that every time he does that he de-values all of the hard work that I'm putting in to deal with my issues. You should have seen the look on his face!

I'm not ok with the dating thing... it just freaks me out. But I am going out and having a good time. I know that the WAS really has a hard time with it in general. Tonight is the first "experiement" in that .... and TAH DAH it worked. I am going out with a good friend of mine - male - to a concert where another friend's band is playing. I hate to got bars alone... safety.. so he's coming along. I posted a status update online that I was "looking fine, properly "chaperoned" and has the perfect attitude for the night". Low and behold about 20 min later I got a text from H asking me to do something for him tomorrow... totally unnecessary.

I'm really really happy most days. Even thoug this isn't what I want there is a big part of me thats very greatful. The seperation forced me to deal with my issues and I feel like me again! I haven't been this happy - truly happy - in a long time. Too bad he's missing it.... GALing has been the best thing thats happened to me during this time. I've taken salsa classes, cooking classes, spent a ton of time with friends, I'm renovating my house, I threw myself a birthday party - its been great!

Sandi,
I'm looking forward to being part of the family!