Is there a good thread about going dark that explains exactly what it looks like? For instance,
I thought it was...until I started trying to find it.
How about the term "detaching"? There is quite a bit around the board on detaching. I have the DR book instead of DB, so not sure where it may be in your book, but I bet it's there some place.
There is a thread in Newcomers about detaching by Coach. It would probably be helpful.
You need to pull back and let your H feel disconnected instead of him thinking of you like a heavy stone around his neck that's drowning him. Going dark is like you fell off the face of the earth. But, as you have pointed out....that's a little hard when there is a child involved and business matters to attend. However, I have read where so many people unconsciously use their children as a "connection" or even an excuse to contact their S. The thing is...the WAS spots it right away and knows it's an excuse and it will push the WAS farther away.
What are your ages and how long have you been M? How many children and what are the ages?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
