Hi lostlove, well apparently this 'distance' that I felt was real, it occured as a result of him listening to a cd set called 'the emotionally healthy marriage", it's by a pastor and in it he refers to pornography being a sin and treating wives with respect and not sex objects etc. and it turns out that that really got to him, he said that he started feeling guilty and therefore withdrew from me so as not to "use me". I had already listened to this cd set and it didn't cross my mind that he would take those parts of it so seriously. That's what it all boils down to.
H said that he gave up on the porn and looking at it on the web etc. and along with this pastor saying to treat wives with more respect and not sex objects etc. that he got turned off. Then I heard about how visual men are and all that. well I know that. so anyway, that's what caused the rift. we are getting along better because we talked about it. He told that if I was the one giving him cleavage shots etc. that he wouldn't need to look at it elsewhere. men! Lisa
