When your h comes to pick up your daughter, be busy or go in another room. Going dark is for you and to help you find your footing. Going dark is just what it says...lights out...you find a way not to be available to him. If he calls, let it ring and do not pick up each and every time he calls. Only contact him in an emergency or something to do w/your daughter. Do not call him otherwise. No more relationship talks! If you do not want a divorce, do not bring the subject up again.
Keep your conversations on a calm and even tone....no threats, no relationship talks, etc. In fact, you will now look at him as a business associate and will look at this situation as a business deal.
As for your pastor/minister, no disrepect intended, but he's not walking in your shoes or living your nightmare. You will need to keep your focus on you and your daughter and begin taking one step at a time to find your footing. Leave the door ajar, but please leave your life to the fullest as if he were not coming back. Do not sit and wait on him....continue moving forward. If he opts to catch up w/you later on, then so be it. For now...move forward, take care of yourself and your daughter and allow God to work on him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
