Offering to pick her up is completely unnecessary and probably sets off a tiny red flag. Women like their own wheels.
Effusive apologies work against you. As charming as your note was it keeps the mistake highlighted.
Going into a home is very personal. Keep the surroundings impersonal.. movie theater, coffee shop, light and easy. No one feels trapped.
It's not her loss, it's not your loss. It's a learning experience. Find what works. Don't do it all. And realize your limits. Postponing a get together is okay. Just be upfront about it. Simple statement.
Something like that is really nothing more than a scratch in the scheme of things. If you're in a game and you fall and scratch your knee, you wipe it off and clean it up...and get back in the game! You don't even think about it anymore.
Same thing.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Thank you, Gyps, In retrospect it was a bad first venue: no escape for either. I would have never even considered an offer to pick a date/woman/friend up a red flag. Who knew? Now I know. I'm working on effusive. Never even considered postponing: always put myself last. I'm working on that, too.
The "her loss" stuff was kind words I appreciated hearing from DB friends. My Doonesbury thing just a laugh. No loss. I had fun and a good (GALing) time with her. And learned.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
It reminded me of when you offered to pick me up to go to your son's show (a comparable amount of time going way out of your way). I felt uncomfortable. I can only describe feeling it as 'too much'. Even though I'd met you. Even though you're a nice guy. I wouldn't expect that from a long time friend unless it was really really important. A husband.. I'd meet him there.
You are delightfully who you are, gallant, sweeping gestures without a second thought. Allow yourself space. Stay away from the house for the first three to seven dates. Meet halfway or in the vicinity of the date's domicile/work place. Even if it's their idea to go to your home. Well.. you know what I mean.
Getting back into the game is about where you are, what your boundaries are.
Advice is free.. and consider the source... the non dating, plate full muchacha.
Antlers, Without a doubt. I agree. Thanks. Hey, I wasn't even looking (and won't be for a while). She showed up. She was nice. The conversations were great fun. Something to look forward too every day for a couple of weeks. I lucked out. i was on contentedly sitting on the bench and my nephew put me in the game. Only an inning or two, but hey, I got out there and it felt good. Wish her all the best.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Since we're on the subject... Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. - Emerson
Another good one. Never read that one. Thanks.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
G'Man, We have a lot in common. Finding healthy boundaries, especially with the opposite gender is a mystery to me. Figuring out how to communicate without coming on too strong (or too stalker-like) is an area I'm working on. What I want to tell people is that I have a need. Maybe I'm lonely, and that means I need to be with people. Healthy people. Strong people. Sometimes that's in the alt, or here on DB, or sometimes it's on the phone. Today, it's in real life. If I'm lonely, and need to be with people, I will call a friend and ask, "What are you doing this weekend?" And then listen to the answer. If they have plans, they will say so. If they are available, they will say, "What did you have in mind?" Keep it simple, G'Man. Peace.
