Future, I'm pretty sure that my H is off with the OW this weekend. I don't know, and I'm not sure that I care. Somehow, I've kind of decided that she can have him. I don't know if that's right, but I've decided I want to be with people who shoot straight and who love me. And there are a lot of people in my life like that. I don't want to be with someone who makes my head spin around and acts like a 15 year old with a crush on someone else. Life goes on. If your kids stay with you maybe you can look at it as a way to have fun with them. Do something cool. Go somewhere. Don't worry about her. You need to cooperate. Maybe someday you will need to go somewhere and need her to watch the kids..
For the international travel, don't think she's going to take your kids and never return. International travel does open kids eyes to other ways of living, and it could be good for them to see that...at some point. My guess is that they aren't ready to see their mom with a new "guy" in her life, though. That would be my concern for my kids. Not that they would never come back, but that they would be very confused and brokenhearted to see their mom actng romantically with another man on a vacation--which is much more intense than just having someone drop by from time to time. I'd take that approach with her. My friend made the mistake of bringing new men into her children's lives after her divorce, and it was very confusing and not fair to them. With every break up, there was a new loss. But tell her that in the future, its fine for them to travel...either to a different country or AFTER the divorce is over and once she KNOWS that OM is the one she is going to be with. If she doesn't know that yet, then she shouldn't involve the kids. It isn't fair.
Jeez Future. I feel bad for you. She is pushing all your buttons. Its not about "playing" the cards right anymore, though. If she wanted to have a relationship with you, she would have done it or she would have told you her struggles. At least if she is a grown up, she should. I don't think that these games are good--that you should have "acted" a certain way. You "acted" yourself. You are a good person. She wants to be with someone else. Period. She could regret that someday..and she probably will, but do you want to waste your life waiting for 10 or 20 yars? For you, Future, no regrets. You did your best. She didn't bite. Move on...
