Quote: We have made a lot of progress and I can tell from his email tonight that he is not feeling totally distant and detached like he was a time of bomb 21 months ago.
Lisa,
just want to be clear on this one...he is NOT acting TOTALY detached like he was before??
Quote: I'd like it to be just slump but when he said that I wasn't happy either, with EITHER being the opperative word that tells me he's not again.
when I'm not happy in the r..h tends not to be happy in the r...we then end up in a place where I blame my unhappiness with the r on how he is "being" and he blames my unhappiness for his unhappiness etc etc etc....
if you could just look at this as a "slump" a "phase" a "transitioning point" another "swing of the pendulum" etc and get back in the mindframe you were in your last thread what would change?
Please don't allow yourself to sit and entertain thoughts that you are not the woman for h, that he wants someone more ow's age, or looks or anything..I did that for far to long we can't make ourselves younger, shorter, blonder (well there is bleach but why ). All we can do is make ourselves the best US that we can be.
as far as the condom goes? is there reason to disbelive it was son who took it?
the cologne before working out? heck I used to get a bit concerned when h put on nice smelling after shave to go to work but then I'm the one who put in on the vanity and suggested he use it...I also got myself in a pickle when I suggested to h that wearing a baseball hat all day everyday wasn't helping him with his hair that he complained about and then much to my dismay felt a bit concerned when he "did" his hair before leaving the house...(sheesh I'm difficult aren't I)
point I'm trying to make is when we carry a negative attitude about the state of the r, we feel it, they feel it and the feeling just spreads like a weed. Same principal applies in reverse.
). All we can do is make ourselves the best US that we can be.