Calling out the Piecers

[Gnosis]

I'm busy shopping around for a frame.

[dday101798]

I'm busy shopping around for a frame.

Funny thing is when I was helping my cousin clean out the crawl space I found THE perfect desktop frame that I was going to put a copy of ours in and give to W for Christmas.

Ironically, it was the week before I think before she warmed up.

[dday101798]

ok,

So ironically after I posted that I hadn't heard from W for some time, she texts that she's on her way 'home'. I was busy and kept it short with "ok". So she replies "are you ok"? As G pointed out , she knows me and I said "I'll be fine".

She comes back with "smile honey I love you more than anything. You make me, me. I need you and want you forever"

I got tactful to get my point with: "Understood. I and others don't want to see me or the boys hurt again and I need reassurances from you honey. Actions not words".

I just got the reply "what can I do? What did I do? I will do anything for you, you know that".

So it's time she puts her money where her mouth is: "Every link to OM has to go. I will never feel secure in our relationship until every tie between you two is severed".

Let's see how that goes...........

[dday101798]

Well,

I was hoping to have a definative answer for review. No dice, she took the page out of my play book and said we'll discuss it later, not a suitable topic for texts.

She's gonna balk, I know it.

Atleast like trying to save the M prior to going full tilt to D, I tried. I've been clear to the point, my last message being the most direct, I know I had told her in person that that is how I feel. Hopefully with some time to read then re-read the message it will sink in and stike the nerve it needs to.

[Gnosis]

No dice, she took the page out of my play book and said we'll discuss it later, not a suitable topic for texts.

NO IT IS NOT!

She's gonna balk, I know it.

Maybe, maybe not. How you enforce your boundary is up to you at this point.

Atleast like trying to save the M prior to going full tilt to D, I tried.

No one will dispute that.

I've been clear to the point, my last message being the most direct, I know I had told her in person that that is how I feel.

Hmm... I shudder to think about how you've been tip-toeing around that elephant for so long.

Hopefully with some time to read then re-read the message it will sink in and stike the nerve it needs to.

So back off for the weekend and let that point sink in. Put the cat in the freezer or in a temporary grave. Cancel church on Sunday. Give her time to think about this... help her get the point!

OK, mishka422, your turn...

[dday101798]

So back off for the weekend and let that point sink in. Put the cat in the freezer or in a temporary grave. Cancel church on Sunday. Give her time to think about this... help her get the point!

1-Poor cat died 12/30/09!!! It's just been so cold that even on the days where we did escape single digits, the ground is frozen atleast 3-5" below, every try and dig a hole in that? To say anything of the umpteenth inches of snow. not fun, we'll say that.

2-No way, I'm going to church. That is huge to me right now, and I've NEVER been actively into religion. When we were going prior to the S it was very spotty. I need all the redemption and recharging I can get, I'm going, the boys are going. If she doesn't fine.

3-Time she will have. Doubt it will be used for this prupose tho. She's going out tonight with her girlfriend whom 'friended' me on FB. Well, she made a post saying that W was bringing back twiddeling thumbs. I replied that if it's in the sense that when you tell W you're going to be there at "X" time and she isn't ready, then yeah, your left twidddeling thumbs. Frined said, "that's W" and I said 'well, she's all your tonight' and whamo, friend logged off. Hmmmmmm.

[Gnosis]

Um... tell me again...

WHY are you discussing things like that with her friends?

You will see her priorities and intentions by her actions.

EDIT: And since you're in the "alt" hit me up on there sometime.

[WalkingMan]

Time to GAL, man. It's time for her to goto work and meet you in the middle. She needs to fight for you.

[dday101798]

Um... tell me again...

WHY are you discussing things like that with her friends?

I see no harm in the conversation? It was a joking, yet true matter?

Anywho.....

What a topsey turvey weekend. Friday was ok, S11 had a function at school, so I hung out with W and S12 until then, then took the boys back by my place for the night.

Saturday morning I got a head start on cleaning up the kitchen and stuff from cousin's son moving in and all. I took note of the lack of storage now for 2 active cooks in the house and all the items therein related. So when my cousin got home I addressed the idea of picking up some pantry cabinets and cousin agreed. Turned into a bit of a project, but much needed. S11 helped out my cousins son put one cabinet together while I did the other and S12 was helping cousin and her friends get stuff re-orginized upstairs. Out of nowhere, S11's attitude went south and he becaome very disrespectful to me. No sooner, S12's attitude shifted and all hell broke lose.

My cousin's and their friends all abruptly left. At the time I assumed it was because of the way the kids were acting. I couldn't take anymore and the house was in complete dissaray, so I opted to take the kids back by W's house. I've been threatening to do so each and every time they get unruly, this time it was time to inact upon it.

None the less, W was not very happy with me at all initially and it turned into a huge all out war of words, still respectful, but W and I had to itron the kids out and get to the brass root of everything. We did, and all ended well and we all jsut stayed at W's house.

Returned to cousin's house sunday as promissed to finish up the cabinet work with S11 and got into ith with her, yet another misunderstanding, but sorted out nothing to worry about or get into here.

So in the evening S11 and I went back to W's house and we made a kick butt dinner. s12 had done as I asked and helped W get the house straightened up and all, that was nice of him.

Then enter the oddities and problems that are associated in piecing and the whole trust biz.

Both Saturday and Sunday nights, I awoke in the middle of the night to a virtually completely naked W. Claims it was the heat. I have no problem with that, but.... She had said when I mentioned a while back that I was uncomfortable being there because of her and OM being intimate, she had said, "no-way, not in my father's house, that is so disrespectful". So yet, I made the comment on both occasions that she was 'torturing me' by me waking up in the middle of the night to the way she was.

And, on both occasions as she suggested and I thought to myself as love being snuggled up to the woman, I ended up down to my bottoms and that was all. We did some 'fooling around and what not, but not the main attraction. Hoowever, last night, she down to her bottoms. I got her a glass of water as requested. When I got back and got stteled in, I rolled over on top of her to give her a 'good night kiss' and mainly because the feel of her inner thighs, is well, you know. Of course, mission accomplished and I was well, 'happy', and then realized that she had now gone bottomless and I dang near got her.

I don't understand that. I have been completely respectful of what she says about being in her father's house, but I get this? I did bring protection, just in case as she seems to differ from that statment now. But still, no main attraction. I (jokingly) commented in the morning again that she was torturing aespeciall at that exact moment that she could of been 'inadvertantly poked' and she said, "well, why didn't you?".

Ok, hold the phone, first the statement of her dads house. Then her being so hap-hazzrd to not even want to use anything? I could see if she was still on the shot, but she's not. And then... there's the issue where the weekend started: OM. (oh puppy, here's where you're expertiese is needed)

I cleaned off the dinning room table this morning while W was still sleeping and her phone was finally left sitting there unguarded. Having my coffee, curiosity got the better of me. Wouldn't you know, on Satruday afternoon there were 2 messages from OM in a row.

1-"How about instead of you coming over by me, I Come over by your dad's house?"

2-"What's the plan?"

Now, here's the thing. Just before that, W had a call from her BIL down state that makes the payemnt on the house her and OM 'bought'. W did say on Saturday night that she had just given money to him that afternoon. So my ass-umption is that they were meeting to ahndle the payment. There were no replies in her sent messages, and no outbound calls to him, except for yesterday at 2 in the afternoon but the call had no duration time to it?

I'm not sure what to do with this. I really couldn't see her doing anything malicious with him after the great time we are having together all things concidered. And as I've said, she does have to ahve contact for now, but she normally says something. I don't know if this time she didn't because my feeling were already in a tizz on the issue? But especially if it involves her being at his place, oh hell no, something's got to give.

How to address?

[dday101798]

Well, I've decided to give her the full benefit of the doubt and say that W hasn't said anything about their interaction in an 'attempt' to not make a emotionally touch and go weekend worse off. I have told her tho previously, I appreciate (read as expect) that she lets me know of their dealings.


Before I get the nay-says, of "c'mon man, she's done this to you before and she's probably still seeing him". No, I don't believe that. Her attitude and prescence, hell just about every darn thing about her screamed that something was rotten in Denmark before. She can now look me in the eye and say nothing is going on and I believe her. Then, no way. She cuoldn't do it as it was eating her up inside. Not this time.

So, I'm going to let that go for now and just monitor as best as possible. I have enough security blankets in place to say that if something is going on, I'd surely find out as I did before.

That said, the sex issues are all that remain. Suffice it to say, she's apparently re-nigged on her statement about respecting the house. That said tho, this is a little different. I'm not some slug she just started dating. I'm her H. And man, oh man, when I called her out on that today, let's just say I certainly hope I either of our phones don't end up in the wrong hands. There's been some rather "non PG-13" stuff flying back and forth today

Looks like we're going to play 'hookie' on Thursday after sending the kids off to school. Oh, yeah, we'll be sore on Friday.